April 13, 2003

Canadian Invasion Plans

Unilateral Hegemon Industries

To: Rumsfeld, Perle, Wolfowitz, Cheney
From: BC

Suggest that you delay Syrian invasion plans until fall as summer is a
lousy time for a desert war.

Maybe you should consider dealing with that Canada thing this summer.

It could probably be done in a couple of days with a brigade from Fort
Drum. If the 10th Mountain isn't back from the 'stans, you could just
send in the New York Reserves. Hell, you could probably send in the
Monroe County Girl Scouts.

Suggest seizing Ottawa on a weekend in July. Black flies aren't as bad
then, and every damn person in the government will be at their
cottages. Chances are they won't even notice they don't have jobs until
sometime in September, if then.

In addition, if you seize and occupy every Tim Hortons donut shop along
the way, you will both neutralize all the provincial police permanently
stationed there and cut off the native food supply.

That is all.

Posted by campbell at April 13, 2003 01:19 AM | TrackBack