April 13, 2003

Ignore Previous Posting, If You Know What's Good for You

Sorry, I don't know how that memo got misdirected to the Snoofmadrune weblog. Maybe you should just forget that you saw it.

Or else.

While we're on the topic of Canadian Invasions, though, it reminds of a little story I tell to explain how the "Anglo-Saxon" became dominant for the past 300 years on the northern 2/3rds of the continent.

Seems a new commander came over to take control of the French forces in Quebec. Deciding that February was just the right time to launch a scouting patrol that could handle some Indian raiding problems, he marched the forces out of the encampment and into the woods.

L'hiver, he reasoned, was no big deal in France for an army. So a couple of days later, he and his poorly outfitted troops were trying to plow through 6 foot snow banks without snowshoes or food (since they couldn't live off the land when nothing was moving). He managed finally to return to town with a much reduced force and learned that the arrogance of being French was no substitute for good equipment and strategy.

Posted by campbell at 01:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Canadian Invasion Plans

Unilateral Hegemon Industries

Memo
To: Rumsfeld, Perle, Wolfowitz, Cheney
From: BC

Suggest that you delay Syrian invasion plans until fall as summer is a
lousy time for a desert war.

Maybe you should consider dealing with that Canada thing this summer.

It could probably be done in a couple of days with a brigade from Fort
Drum. If the 10th Mountain isn't back from the 'stans, you could just
send in the New York Reserves. Hell, you could probably send in the
Monroe County Girl Scouts.

Suggest seizing Ottawa on a weekend in July. Black flies aren't as bad
then, and every damn person in the government will be at their
cottages. Chances are they won't even notice they don't have jobs until
sometime in September, if then.

In addition, if you seize and occupy every Tim Hortons donut shop along
the way, you will both neutralize all the provincial police permanently
stationed there and cut off the native food supply.

That is all.

Posted by campbell at 01:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack